:Jiawen:

Tuesday, November 11, 2008 These few days had been a tremendous torture to me both physically and mentally. till now, i still couldn't accept the fact that my lovely grandma had passsed away. this is a seriously nightmare. Why haven't i wake up from this dream? It is very very long and i'm tired. Somebody, please wake me up from this dream and tell me it is just a nightmare and nothing has changed! My grandma passed away on 7 nov. I received the phone call from my family. I couldn't believe my ears. It is just so so impossible. She is so cheerful, healthy, bubbly compared to the rest of the elderly. Hence, it is impossible for me to accept the fact. I was in school at that point of time. Although they did not tell me directly my grandma passed away, my instincts told me. She passed away peacefully in her sleep without pain or anything. So that's one thing to be glad about. I felt so lost. I lost my direction, my goal. Everything seemed so blurred now. It is like i just lost my pillar of support. I really did not know what to do. I took my granma for granted and felt that the things she did for me are what she is supposed to do. But now..他在人生的火车比我们早下车. i couldnn't believe my eyes. My senses are tricking me! My grandma is like my everything. i have lived with her for the whole of my life. So you should understand how i feel. The night before, she was still well. I deeply regretted the last phrase which we exchanged words. I talked back to her. If time could turn its hands back again, i would not have done it and would be an obedient girl and do what she say. What is the use of saying all this now. She is gone. I am deeply remoreseful. But i cannot do anything. I finally understood the phrase: One only learn to treasure something when they have lost it and this phrase applies to me. Its too late now. Tears seemed to roll down my cheeks frequently. It is like buckets and buckets of water splashed over me. My little cousin even commented that i was the only white shirt who is crying la. Whatever?! 我伤心,悲哀没人会了解. mysterious froze in time on 5:16 AM

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